In true coming of age fashion, I have compiled a playlist that captures what my movie would feel like.

It’s full of heartbreaking, soul saving, exhilarating songs that make me okay with the fact that I’m an adult now, that has to do adult things, like driving over speed bumps and paying for my own movie tickets.

Like all genre playlists, though, there’s subdivisions.

There are songs for wishing you could turn back time. There are songs for wishing you could speed it up. And there are songs for wishing that you could stay in a moment and the way it makes you feel, for the rest of your life.

Lately, I’ve been feeling stuck in one of those tidal waves. The ones that flip you over and make you feel like you have no choice but to cartwheel with it and hope you make it out alive.

That’s a scary feeling, but I’ve been sitting in it long enough to know that at some point, like all waves, there’s a release.

I’m just waiting for it.

NEVER F*CKIN KNOW (by poutyface)

This song tells its own story, but when I listen to it, I feel like it’s the beginning of one I’d like to star in.

The movie is filmed á la Ferris Bueller, with the main character on her way home from a frat party she went to alone.

Frizzy haired, covered in vomit and smelling like cheap beer. Deciding immediately to accept the unknown.

As she stumbles out the door of the frat, she’s got guys high-fiving and congratulating her. She starts her walk in the middle of the street, heels in hand, light morning drizzle, telling us what she can remember.

Cars swerve around her but she doesn’t move an inch.

After an hour of showering, brushing her teeth, getting dressed and eating cold pizza in front of the TV, she’s back in class looking like nothing ever happened.

Because it’s just a repeat of last week.

t r a n s p a r e n t s o u l feat. Travis Barker (Willow)

POM POM (Baby Storme)