I don’t know what it is lately. Maybe it’s me learning how to drive, maybe it’s the effects of graduation, maybe it’s being months away from 18.
But lately I’ve found myself wanting, needing, to venture out into the world somewhere.
Somewhere far away.
Far Away (EASHA)
Watching the sun rise today makes it feel like the sky is taking me with it.
Suddenly, I’m so high that I can see the rest of the world waking up. They’re quiet in their steps, and their cars cruise by without a fuss. No one seems to notice me.
But then I hear my alarm scream my name, and it’s time to get a move on.
The day is my own, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a million things to do.
The train scoops me up, quick as it can, and standing becomes an obligation, not an option. But I don’t mind.
Today is the first day that I get to explore home. Or, what is to become my home.
Getting my dream job at the Publisher’s house was supposed to be so much more than what it feels like. I thought I would feel every empty slot fill up an be done with it, live the rest of my life as a whole and happy person.
But any slot that filled just left room for new ones to be opened, and all I feel is the ravine that sits at the bottom of my heart, waiting for the waters to fill.
So for the rest of the morning, the rest of the afternoon, the night, and any and all time after that, I’m searching for the waters.
Where better to look than the beach?
It’s well known amongst the people around here. My new neighbors, at the very least.
It’s name is Tickele’d Pink, for the town’s matriarch, Margie Tickele, who only ever fashioned herself in bubblegum, watermelon, and flamingo pinks.
Hopping off the train, I’ve still got the bus and then the tram and then the hike. Surrounded by all these trees, the birds and the lizards that crawl up and down their trunks, all those routes pass by quickly, and soon enough I’m on the rocks, feet from it’s waves.
Deep diving in, the cold hits just where I need it too.
I push water past me until I float in the middle.
The sky holds clouds that reach over me from opposite sides and aim to meet in the middle, but they all leave room right in the middle for the sun.
It shimmers against the sun and holds my face in its hands.
The ravine feels a little less empty.